I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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