Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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