she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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