i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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