Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
its liver damage thursday
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
