So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
