I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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