I wannas sexs uuuuu
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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