SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
