have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
