He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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