So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
