Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
