I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All the doctor said was why
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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