I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
