Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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