I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want her autograph on my taint
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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