He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
