no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
