i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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