So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
