SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize