How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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