I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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