sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
