I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
