No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize