i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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