It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
