Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You did what with his pubic hair?
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