Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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