so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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