I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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