just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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