The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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