Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
