I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
