why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize