return my video game
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
