Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
