I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
