Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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