I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize