Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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