I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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