Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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