i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
