just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize