Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
