i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
