yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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