Can i not drive my cunt home
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
