You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
