im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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