you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
