She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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