And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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