Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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