I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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